Disowned

Happy Pride History Month! (Yes, I know that it’s Black History Month over the other side of the Atlantic, but here in the UK it’s the queers’ turn. Black History Month here is October.)

Anyway, I heard a report that a Republican congressman has been disowned by his family for voting to impeach former White House resident and professional Scam Artist John Barron, sorry, David Dennison. And it made me think. In the queer community we often don’t discuss our familial relationships, or if we do, we gloss over it. Mr Kinzinger has made international news for his disownment, yet there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of LGBTQIA+ folk who have, are, or will experience this every day. Yet we rarely talk about it.

Stigma #ItsASin

CONTENT WARNING – This post covers sexual assault/rape and thoughts of suicide. I’ll put a further warning in the text when the challenging content is coming up, so people can read the background if they want.

I’d like to tell you a story. It’s a true story. But first, let me explain why I’m telling it. I recently found someone on twitter who was writing some great, uplifting, and supportive tweets around the stigma of HIV. And then I saw this response to him.

It reminded me of a story about a guy I knew, we were the same age and had quite similar life experiences. For background, this story took place in 1995 when we were 17. The Age of Consent for gay sex had been reduced to 18 a few months before, so we only had a year left to wait until we could legally drink and have sex (instead of the 4 years it had been until the change).

#ItsASin

I was in two minds over whether to watch It’s A Sin last night. Not because I thought it was going to be a bad show, Russell T Davis has proven himself time and time again. I mean, can you believe that it’s been 21 years since Queer as Folk came out? That’s enough time for Charlie Hunnam to glow up into the sort of guy that would throw Nathan around like a ragdoll, and for Aiden Gillen to plot the deaths of goodness’ knows how many Lords, Ladies and Kings. And no, American readers, I’m not talking about the straight-washed version you folks created – I’m talking about the original!

Why I stand with the trans members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

I’m writing this to sort things out in my own head, as well as to (maybe) help some people to look at their own transphobia from a different perspective. Yes, I know, no one will read this (probably), and if they do they’ll probably already know me and share similar views. But in an infinite universe, all things are possible so I’m going to at least try.

I don’t follow any Radical Feminists who want to Exclude Trans folk, nor do I follow anyone else who espouses Transphobia, Trans Exclusionary beliefs, or Trans sceptical views. I know that some people might think that this is me creating an echo chamber. I suppose, to a degree, it is.

But there’s a reason for the echo chamber. The arguments and comments made about trans rights issues are themselves echoes of the arguments made against homosexuality in the 80s and 90s (and, I’m sure, earlier – but I don’t remember the 70s and didn’t exist before then). To quote another well known phrase “History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme”.

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MRM PSA

***CONTENT WARNING – Child Prostitution, Pedophilia, cPTSD***

This image (below) appeared on my Twitter feed on Monday night and completely threw me. To see someone blaming the child as they are complicit and could give informed consent actually made me physically sick. I’ve also been unable to sleep for the last 48 hours.

History Repeating

I think that we can (mostly) agree that the world’s gone to hell in a handbag on a pretty wide scale. As it’s been happening I’ve noticed a trend of history repeating itself. Now I don’t mean the fall of the Roman empire, or the rise of the Borgias. One pattern that seems to have a tight turning circle is happening right now. (And by a tight turning circle I mean within the last 30 years.) No, I’m not talking about late 80s/early 90s fashion!

Let me give you an example. “It’s not natural.”, “Think of the children!”, “Do you know what they do in public toilets!?” All phrases repeated ad nauseum stretching back from the 80s and 90s around homosexuality, and gay men in particular.

Body Beautiful

This is a post that I’ve tried to write three or four times over the last year. It’s a difficult one to cover as it’s opening up more than I usually do. This is not however a post asking for sympathy, just a way to explain a bit about some of the “invisible” effects of AS.

A couple of my friends have posted on Facebook about body image in the gay community. It’s one of the things that I don’t think gets talked about enough, actually men’s body image isn’t talked about in general. We talk about the impossibly high standards set for women (and we absolutely should, they’re often ridiculous) but men are kind of left out of the discussion.

Alphabet Soup

Last weekend was Pride weekend in Newcastle upon Tyne (where I live). A time to celebrate diversity and raise awareness of the LGBTQIA+ experience. To continue the fight towards equality and acceptance.

Over the last couple of months I seem to be experiencing a lot more discussions around sex, gender and sexuality. Recently I’ve read comments from a friend about the Asexual experience, spoken to colleagues about Trans and non-binary issues. A completely separate Facebook discussion around the extension of the LGBT acronym finally gave me a concrete jumping off point for this post.

There’s so much I want to say on this that Facebook comments and discussions just aren’t enough. (Plus, FB decided to reload the page while I was in the middle of a long reply and wiped the lot – so stuff you Facebook!)

An Open Email.

Earlier this week I wrote about the situation in Chechnya. Even considering the fact that there has been more information coming to light, the government has still failed to respond. Hillary Clinton has roundly condemned President Trump for failing to comment, and yet there has not been a response or any sort of recognition from the UK Government.

So I wrote this email and sent it to the Prime Minister, Foreign Secretary and Equalities Minister. I copied in Jeremy Corbyn and Tim Farron as well as my own MP. PinkNews also has suggestions for people who also want to know how we can all help.

Subject: Government silence on the torture of homosexuals in Chechnya.

Mrs May, Mr Johnson, Ms Greening,

As I am sure you will have heard, reports are coming from Chechnya about the existence of “concentration camps” for Gay people. The stories speak of torture reminiscent of 1930s Germany. This isn’t liberal hyperbole. People are being tortured, beaten, and raped.

Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.

The Holocaust was one of the most disgusting and evil things to happen in the history of mankind. I think that it’s probably the most horrendous thing to happen in the 20th Century. We hold Remembrance Day services and have 2 minutes silence every year. The key phrase that’s used is “Never Forget”.

But we have forgotten. When we remember, we think about the soldiers who gave their lives. Not just in the World Wars, but in wars that have been, and are being, fought before and since. They sacrificed their lives to save others, dulce et decorum est pro patria mori.

But what about the others? When we speak of the Nazi Holocaust, we think of the Jews. Millions of Jews were murdered in cold blood, experimented on and used as slave labour. It was truly awful. But the Nazis didn’t just stop at the Jews. They wanted a Master Race.