Disowned

Happy Pride History Month! (Yes, I know that it’s Black History Month over the other side of the Atlantic, but here in the UK it’s the queers’ turn. Black History Month here is October.)

Anyway, I heard a report that a Republican congressman has been disowned by his family for voting to impeach former White House resident and professional Scam Artist John Barron, sorry, David Dennison. And it made me think. In the queer community we often don’t discuss our familial relationships, or if we do, we gloss over it. Mr Kinzinger has made international news for his disownment, yet there are hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of LGBTQIA+ folk who have, are, or will experience this every day. Yet we rarely talk about it.

It’s been over 25 years since my parents threw me out of my Nan’s house (I’d been moved into there a few years earlier because of reasons). And it’s been 17 years since I last saw them. It was at my Nan’s funeral, and they literally turned their backs on me. Thankfully I had my partner and best friend with me, my chosen family supported me in a way that blood never would. Now, when I say “they turned their backs on me” I don’t mean metaphorically. They physically all turned to face away from the three of us in such a childish action that I was gobsmacked.

Just to be clear, this isn’t a cry for attention or a request for sympathy. After two and a half decades I’m over it. It’s simply an example of what happens even now in these enlightened times of equality. But do we see these stories in local, national or international news? No. Because it isn’t news. It’s always been the case, and as long as LGBTQ+ folk have to fight for equality, it always will be.

Did you know that an estimated 24% of homeless young people are queer? That’s 1 in 4. And the majority of those people are made homeless due to the political or religious beliefs of their families. How many right wing or “religious” families would rather disown their child than help and support them? If members of Mr Kinzinger’s family have disowned him for not supporting the former liar in chief, how many others have they disowned for loving someone of the same sex? Or who’ve realised that they weren’t the gender that they were assigned at birth?

Mr Kinzinger will receive plaudits and support from people across the political and religious spectrum, he’ll be lauded as “brave” and “strong”. And yes, to stand up for your beliefs when faced with resistance from those nearest to you is brave. But how many more haven’t had that support, and it’s not because of a belief, but for being themselves.

But I want to shout from the rooftops about those brave and strong Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transgender, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Demisexual, Pansexual, and all the other folks who fall under our big rainbow umbrella. Pride History isn’t just about ancient Greeks and Romans, or Victorians like Oscar Wilde. Nor is it just about Alan Turing and his struggle with medical castration. It’s not only about the leaps that we’ve made over the last few decades, legalising homosexuality, equalising the age of consent, fighting to get rid of Section 28, to give blood, and to be able to marry.

Pride History is being made now. By you. Either as a member of the community, an ally, or as an opposer. It’s up to you which side of the story you want to end up on. The side that tried to lift up the vulnerable, the marginalised and the mistreated, to stand for equality, or the side that tried to push them down.

Which side of History to you want to be on?